


The Moment I Said It

by Nerd_Cake



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer, 5SOS, Muke - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-15
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-23 03:07:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 9,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3752125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerd_Cake/pseuds/Nerd_Cake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>" Luke sat watching as Calum made off with some other girl he was dancing with. Calum rarely tried to bag and tag a girl at one of our after parties, but tonight it seemed he was drunk enough. He and Ashton were about the only ones to be drinking, well Calum more so since Ashton was still standing up straight. Luke hadn't seen Michael around, and it was getting pretty late, so he decided to go look for him.That was kind of a bad idea considering that when Luke found him he was making out with someone behind the RV. Luke couldn't see if it was a guy or a girl, all he could tell was that Michael was snogging them, pressing his hips to theirs, moaning and lip biting was definitely happening, and all Luke could do was stare.He honestly didn't know what to do. Michael was making out with someone right there in front of him, and his chest was aching with every second that he watched. "</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Want You To Want Me

Luke had been reading through Tumblr feed for at least an hour. He didn't quite understand what he was doing, how to explain his actions.  
Michael had told all of them about 'One Shots', the things fans wrote about them and other celebrities as well, but what Michael didn't tell them about was the 'S.M.U.T.' written about them.  
If Luke had known that the 'Ships' the fans came up with could go so far... He didn't really know what he would do, but now that he was reading some of it. He couldn't seem to stop. He'd read the Lashton, and the Cake-the Cake ship was actually pretty amusing since Calum's been Luke's best friend since day one.  
Lashton was adorable, but Luke would never think of Ashton that way. Ashton wasn't straight, but that didn't mean he wasn't taken, and Michael...  
Luke had read the Muke smut, the 'Fan Fictions', and all of the one shots he could find, and overall Muke was his favorite. Luke had also read the Malum fan fictions, and quite frankly all of them pissed him off.  
Luke always hated the way Michael and Calum were so close. After all, Calum was the one who invited Michael to be a part of the band, Luke hadn't even liked him before hand.  
Michael hadn't preferred Luke that much either.  
Michael was always hanging on Calum, and Calum allowed this prancing around like he was wanted by everyone, but he was just getting big-headed with his new fame. All of them had their moments, Calum just had more of them.  
Luke scrolled down reading the title of a new smut. It was a daddy kink. It showed Luke as a bottom, to which Luke scoffed. "What?" Ashton asks looking over curiously. Luke tilts his phone away from the older boy "Nothing. This dumb...doesn't matter," Luke says rolling his eyes. Ashton shrugs.  
Luke is relieved when Ashton looks away. Luke had never been really good at lying. Anyway, Luke would never be bottom. Besides, this was Muke. Michael was too...  
Luke didn't know, maybe he would bottom for Michael-wait, what the hell? This wasn't real life, this was just...just smut that the fans wrote.  
Luke couldn't help the aching between his legs though, as he read on. ' _Michael thrust into Luke, who whimpers fisting the white cotton sheets taking everything his lover gave him_ '.  
Luke gulped reading further.  
The further he got the more he regretted starting in the first place. ' _"Oh god," Michael grunted rocking his hips, his porcelain skin slapping against Luke's tanner, yet still pale, back side._ '  
Luke choked, how had they gotten that right? Well technically, everyone was paler under clothing, but Luke was still a little tan, naturally... Ashton was watching Luke curiously.  
Luke turned off his phone, and stood up walking awkwardly into the other room. It was a lot of work, walking with a hard on. Luke managed to make it into the bathroom though.  
He locked the door and turned his phone back on. It was just getting good, he couldn't stop reading now.  
' _Michael leaned closer to Luke his chest ghosting over Luke's back. Luke, unable to handle the ghostly touch, screamed out his lovers name "Mikey, please!"_ '  
Luke felt a shockwave of arousal, mainly in his lower region, when his character used his favorite nickname for Michael. Luke had to touch himself, before this got too out of hand and he burst.  
Pushing his hand deep into his pants, Luke continued reading.  
' _"Fuck, Lukey. You're so tight!"_ ' Luke read and choked on his own moan. ' _"Michael, c-can I?"_ ' Can I what? Luke thought before reading on. ' _"C-can I please, touch myself?" Luke asked hastily. Michael moaned "Let me take care of you," Michael whispered hoarse into Luke's ear.'_


	2. "I won't tell."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke hadn't seen Michael around, and it was getting pretty late, so he decided to go look for him.  
> That was kind of a bad idea considering that when Luke found him he was making out with someone behind the RV.

Luke began to pant. That was what he was doing now, touching himself to the thought of Michael. He felt a pang of hurt in his chest, the lust he had for Michael was turning into an aching. He wanted Michael so bad.  
' _Luke moaned softly as Michael took his hard cock into his smooth hand. "Like that baby?" Michael purred._ ' Luke's jaw dropped as he lolled his head back picturing the scenario, Michael tugging his length in reality, pretending his own hand to be Michael's. "Yes," Luke breathes out.  
' _Luke moans in response of Michael's question, but Michael wants words. As punishment for Luke's lack of verbal response, Michael grips him more roughly in his hand, casing Luke to squeal._ '  
Luke tightened his grip around himself before jolting on the lid of the toilet where he sat. He threw his head back moaning a little too loud.  
' _Luke nods "Y-y-yeah, just like that-ohh, y-you fe-el so fucking good!"_ '  
Luke groans quickening the pace of his hand forgetting about the smut on his phone completely as he comes undone all over himself.  
As soon as Luke winds down from his state of euphoria, he looks around for a towel to clean himself up with. When Luke is clean, and satisfied, he logs off of his secret Tumblr account and steps out of the bathroom.  
"She hot?"  
Luke shouts almost jumping out of his skin when he hears Michael's voice. Luke lets out a shaky breath "What?" Michael looks irritated "The girl you were just _fapping_ over, she _hot_?" he asks simply, as if the question were perfectly fine to ask. "Girl? I-I mean...yeah...I mean..." Luke blabbers on trying to stop stumbling over words so much, "I uh...yeah they're pretty hot...hottest I've come across so far...couldn't help myself, sorry mate." he says quickly before rushing off. Before leaving the room he hears Michael curse him under his breath "Fucking moron."  
....  
Luke sat watching as Calum made off with some other girl he was dancing with. Calum rarely tried to bag and tag a girl at one of their after parties, but tonight it seemed he was drunk enough. He and Ashton were about the only ones to be drinking, well Calum more so since Ashton was still standing up straight.  
Luke hadn't seen Michael around, and it was getting pretty late, so he decided to go look for him.  
That was kind of a bad idea considering that when Luke found him he was making out with someone behind the RV. Luke couldn't see if it was a guy or a girl, all he could tell was that Michael was snogging them, pressing his hips to theirs, moaning and lip biting was definitely happening, and all Luke could do was stare.  
He honestly didn't know what to do. Michael was making out with someone right there in front of him, and his chest was aching with every second that he watched.  
Tears welled up in Luke's eyes, and he suddenly became very angry, very jealous, very fast.  
Before he knew it, Luke was going at Michael and his partner shoving them apart and going at whoever was in front of him, which was the dude Michael had been snogging only moments before.  
"What the fuck!?" the stranger said both shocked and angry for being interupted. Michael stared at Luke with wild eyes. He seemed pissed at Luke as well, only that didn't last long.  
A fist knocked Luke up against his head and he stumbled back falling on his ass. The sky above was swirling, and Luke was groaning rolling around on the ground.  
"Luke! Get off of him you fucking idiot, what the hell is wrong with you!?" He heard Michael shout as he shoved the stranger he'd just been kissing away from Luke.  
Luke sobbed into the cold ground holding the right side of his face. "Get the fuck out of here!" Michael shouted. Luke heard a scoff and a sarcastic response of 'Whatever' from the stranger. Luke was glad he was finally gone.  
Michael dropped down to Luke's side. "What were you thinking, you moron?" Michael asked softly. Luke whimpered "Stop calling me that. You were snogging that douche when you're supposed to be at the after party with the band!" Luke said groggily trying to sit up.  
Michael pushing him back down "You'll pass out if you get up now, that was quite a blow you took mate." Luke stared up at him, his face flush and his cheeks stained with tears, grass, and dirt.  
His hair and clothes were covered in grass from rolling around after the punch he took to the side of his face.  
Michael touched the bruising skin on Luke's face gently causing Luke to flinch and cringe. "Sorry," Michael murmured placing Luke's head in his lap.  
"Why did you do that, Luke?" Michael asked. Luke looked away from him "I told you why.You and Calum are fucking man-whore's, you know that? .... Fuck, I didn't mean that, I'm sorry-" Michael scoffed "Can't even insult someone without apologizing...what about Calum?"  
Luke huffs "Of course, you wanna know about Calum. Who is grinding and groping a random girl right now, by the way." Luke muttered. Michael laughed "Luke, you realize how you sound right now?" Luke shrugs looking anywhere but at Michael. He couldn't look at him right now.  
Michael sighed taking Luke's chin between his fingers and tilting his face to look at the damage. Luke gave in looking directly at Michael. Luke was captivated by every feature. Lips, eyes, nose, ears, eyelashes, hairline, eyebrows, and even chin. Michael noticed Luke's intense stare and responded with his own.  
They sat for a while like this, just staring at each other before Luke spoke. "The one you were kissing...he...he was a dude..." Luke says cautiously. Michael nods slowly.  
"You...you like guys then?" Luke almost whispers. Michael looks over his expression for a moment. Luke's eyes were sparkling with hope and curiosity, and he stared directly at Michael waiting anxiously for him to answer. That's when Michael knew. "Yeah, I'm gay..." Michael murmured.  
Luke nodded trying to hide his smile "I won't tell..." he whispered, "If you don't." Michael stared at Luke "What would I tell?" he asks having a feeling he already knew.  
Luke gulped "I-I'm...not..." Michael stares into Luke's eyes in such a caring way "You can say it Luke, it's okay..." Luke gulps closing his eyes a brief moment for Michael to marvel over him.  
"I'm gay," Luke says finally. Luke pales and his eyes dart to other places as if to see if anyone had heard. It was quite obvious Luke had only recently realized this. That or he'd been keeping it secret for so long.  
Michael smiles "I won't tell," he promises. Luke seems to relax a little, but not by much, and he nods.


	3. Best Way To Lose Your V-Card

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "W-was your fist time with a guy?" Luke asked nervously. Michael nodded "Bathroom stall...not the best way to lose your V-Card, but hey! I lost it didn't I?" Luke blinked "That's something to be proud of?" Michael bit down on his lip and shook his head "No...I just wanted to lighten the mood, don't be so nervous. I'll take care of you, Luke."

Michael's lips were pressed firmly against Luke's as they walked backwards into their shared hotel room. Luke was hesitant, and shy, while Michael as possessive, an passionate going at Luke with everything he had.  
After all Michael had waited, fantasized, and even dreamed of this moment. When he would be able to kiss Luke, and Luke would kiss him back.  
Once the back of Luke's knees came into contact with the edge of the bed, they both came tumbling down like they had played London Bridge.  
Michael could feel the bulge in Luke's jeans, just about as much as Luke could feel Michael's. Luke looked up at Michael who lay on top of him looking over every inch of Luke that he wanted to touch.  
Only Luke was tentative. He gulped looking into Michael's eyes trying to be serious, aside from his lack of confidence at the moment. "I-I-I'm," he gulped, "I uh...I'm a v-virgin, Michael." Michael nodded "I know Luke, I haven't forgotten since you've said so."  
"W-was your fist time with a guy?" Luke asked nervously. Michael nodded "Bathroom stall...not the best way to lose your V-Card, but hey! I lost it didn't I?" Luke blinked "That's something to be proud of?" Michael bit down on his lip and shook his head "No...I just wanted to lighten the mood, don't be so nervous. I'll take care of you, Luke."  
"W-what if I'm not ready for...e-everything?" Luke asked hesitant. Michael's eyes darkened thinking of other possibilities "What would you be ready for then, Lukey?"  
Michael watched as Luke shuddered upon hearing his nickname. "What do you want?" he asks. Michael smirks "I could teach you things Luke, but I need you to be specific on what you wanna know."  
Luke's face flushed thinking of the smut he'd read where Michael punished him for not using his words, and he couldn't help the moan that escaped him. Michael's eyes widened in excitement.  
"Dry humping...w-we could start with th-that, right?" Luke asked Michael. Michael grinned "Oh, yes we can. Get up," Michael instructed. Luke obliged, and Michael laid back on the bed already massaging his crotch.  
Luke watched with eager eyes. Michael took Luke's hand pulling it over to replace his own with it, so he could rip off his shirt and toss it away. Luke marveled at only this much of Michael's naked body. Michael let out a low moan when Luke began to rub his hand into Michael's crotch.  
Luke was breathing shakily, he loved feeling Michael over his jeans, the outline of him was enough for now, but it was driving Luke crazy. Luke rubbed down on Michael with more force, and sped up the motion of his hand groping and tugging on Michael's bulge.  
Michael's mouth fell open staring from Luke to Luke's hand "Y-yeah," he sputtered. Luke bit down on his lip ring watching Michael's face seeing how good he was pleasing him.  
Michael's hips bucked up, and Luke pressed down harder every time they did throwing Michael into a fit of moans. "Y-your hands, t-th-they're p-perfect." Michael groaned looking into Luke's eyes.  
Luke leaned down to kiss Michael's lips. Michael moaned into Luke's mouth pushing his tongue inside hungrily. "Don't stop," Michael breathed. Luke hadn't planned on ever stopping.  
Michael felt confined not using his hands, so he took the opportunity to grab Luke over his jeans. Luke gasped and almost screamed Michael's name. "Come closer," Michael commanded Luke pulling him by his waist.  
Michael pealed off Luke's shirt and Luke climbed on top of Michael. "Try pushing your hips into mine, grind down, okay?" he said slowly in a softer tone of voice. Michael was trying to hide his desperate need to feel Luke.  
Luke spread Michael's legs open, and Michael moaned in compliance. Luke pressed his hips to Michael's roughly, and Michael gasped when he felt Luke's boner press against his own for a brief moment. "A-again, roll your hips baby. Don't be afraid to hump me, oh god, I want you Luke."  
Luke looked at Michael who was even more of a mess than he was. Luke rolled his hips a few times and rocked against Michael hearing the backboard on the bed lightly tap the wall with each movement of the bed and Luke's hips, sounding like a dirty mix tape. "Fu-ugh," Michael groaned throwing his head back against the comforter.  
Luke placed his hands on each side of Michael's head to angle himself better. Michael whined with every roll of Luke's hips, an stared directly into Luke's eyes as he began to hump Michael's crotch. Michael's mouth fell open "Harder Luke! Oh god, you're so good at this already, fuck. Harder!" Michael demanded.  
Luke pushed into Michael harder with each thrust, and every time he earned a louder moan up until Michael was screaming. Luke could feel his stomach tightening and his face scrunched up involuntarily as he threw his head back.  
Michael watched Luke in awe. His heavy breathing and moaning was more than enough to bring Michael over the edge.  
Luke felt Michael tense up as he screamed out and clawed at Luke's back.  
Luke groaned loudly just as he came undone.


	4. Luke Is My Favorite Flavor of Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just smut, I'm not sure what you want me to say to you.

"I wanna taste you," Michael says breathlessly. Luke's Calvin Klein's were soaking with fresh cum. Luke was still coming down from his high, but Michael needed to know just how Luke tasted.  
Luke lay still, his breathing still heavy from orgasm, as Michael unbuckled his pants and brought them down. Luke's eyes shot open and he looked at Michael in fear that he might laugh at him.  
Michael just licked his lips "God damn, Luke..." Luke sighed relieved, and Michael giggled. Without warning Michael took Luke in his hand sending Luke back into his euphoric state as he released what was left from his last orgasm.  
Michael gasped and dove quickly to lick up the cum that had escaped. He moaned at Luke's delicate taste. A sweet, but salty mixture. Luke taste amazing, and Michael couldn't get enough.  
Luke moaned lolling his head back as Michael licked every inch of him clean until he was cumming again, and Michael had to lick that up too. Luke sat up pulling Michael in for another short, but passionate, kiss. "I wanna blow you, Mikey," Luke whispered in a seductive voice he'd never used before tonight.  
Michael moaned greedily pulling Luke over so he could attack his neck with sloppy kisses. Luke moaned riding his hand up Michael's leg. "Fuck," Michael growled. Luke giggled tracing the outline of Michael's hard dick through his dark jeans. "UGH! Fuck, Luke if you don't stop I'll cum right now."  
Luke teased him some more and Michael let out a small cry. Luke bit into Michael's neck playfully, and Michael jumped causing Luke to laugh. "Okay, okay," Michael said fumbling with his pants. Luke helped him pull his pants down taking in the sight of his throbbing pink dick.  
"Touch me, Luke, please." Michael begged weakly. Luke took him in his hand gently, watching as Michael's eyes closed from Luke's touch. Luke moved his hand at an angle he'd practiced on himself earlier pretending it had been Michael, and Michael's mouth dropped open as he rolled his head back onto the pillows. Luke shifted so that he could lick Michael's lips and tongue.  
Michael licked back kissing Luke at the same slow pace of his hand. It soon became too much for Michael, and he started rocking his hips against Luke's hand fucking into it erotically.  
Luke gasped going to close his mouth around Michael's cock. Michael moaned loudly moving his hips less. Luke groaned in protest and Michael screamed out as the vibrations set chills all over his body starting down his spine.  
Luke sucked on what he could fit into his mouth, but that wasn't enough for Michael.  
"Use your hand babe, and bob that gorgeous head of yours- fuck!" Michael moaned out of breath already. Luke hummed against him before grabbing a hold of his shaft and bobbing head at the same pace he was jerking Michael's erection. Michael screamed Luke's name pushing his hands deep into Luke's already messy hair.  
Luke looked up and directly into Michael's green-hazel orbs with his penetrating ocean blue ones. Michael gasped staring back at him "Don't stop looking at me. God, you're so beautiful," he pleaded out of breath. Luke moaned sending Michael into a fit of shuttering. Michael screamed out rolling his hips to match the pace of Luke's mouth.  
It wasn't long before Michael was screaming and cumming down Luke's throat. Luke gagged, but swallowed most of Michael's liquids, licking up what he missed.


	5. I Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke tries to calm his breathing, tries to move against Michael, make him relax. It wasn't working.
> 
> Luke kisses the shell of Michael's ear "Please, say something," he whispers, desperate. Luke doesn't want to be rejected. Doesn't want this to be just a friends with benefits ... thing. He loves Michael, but what if Michael isn't quite at the same state Luke is with his feelings for him?

Luke could care less that he was stripped bare, down to the bone. He was naked, and he was unashamed because, it was Michael. Michael, who was his best friend. Michael, holding him and caressing every part of him, and he'd never felt more at home. He could care less that he was tasting himself in Michael's mouth, or that Michael was tasting himself in Luke's. It actually excited him and Luke loved the erotic, yet passionate, commitment of it all. No matter what Luke would never have to be embarrassed or nervous, or afraid with Michael because, Luke loved him. And maybe Michael loved Luke back. And "I won't share you with anyone," Luke whispers into Michael's ear possessively as he grabs his pale, round cheeks.

Michael gasps, and Luke can feel his members reaction. God, he loved this man. Michael bucked his hips gyrating against Luke in the most tortured way. "You promise? I'm all yours...you're all mine?" Luke buried his face into Michael's neck. He didn't know why, but he was blushing. "Yeah, 'm all yours." Michael smiles kissing Luke's sweat-sleek shoulder. Luke shivered "I...Mikey... I love you." he whispers. Michael stops moving. Stops _breathing_.

Luke tries to calm his breathing, tries to move against Michael, make him relax. It wasn't working.

Luke kisses the shell of Michael's ear "Please, say something," he whispers, desperate. Luke doesn't want to be rejected. Doesn't want this to be just a friends with benefits ... _thing_. He loves Michael, but what if Michael isn't quite at the same state Luke is with his feelings for him? "You don't have to feel the same way, not if it-it's too much. I can back off if you want-" Finally, Michael speaks up. "Why would I want that? Luke, I...I love you. You know that."

Luke nods knowing Michael has said it countless times before. Simple little 'I love ya mate's, that always made Luke feel warm all over, and curl his toes like a school girl. "You...you never meant it like this though. I mean it...you know...differently." Luke stammers not knowing how to form his feelings into a coherent sentence. "I always meant it that way," Michael whispered. Luke looks over hat him "You mean...all this time, you-...?" Michael nods.

Luke relaxes entirely and before Michael can say anything else, Luke is attaching himself to his lips again. Mouthing silent 'I love you's into every slide of their lips. Michael sighs carding his fingers into Luke's cropped blonde locks, and tugging. Luke moans softly "I've waned this for so long," he says, Michael nodding in agreement before attaching himself to Luke's neck. Luke lets out an embarrassing little whimper.

"I love you," Michael says into his neck, "always have, and always will." Luke bites his lip holding onto Michael for dear life. He never knew that it could sum up to all of this. Just by touching Michael, by moving closer to him and telling him that Luke was, in fact Jealous, and he's wanted to kiss Michael since their first live performance together. Michael had shoved him against the wall and attacked his lips, and Luke'd never felt so _alive_.

"I don't want you to ever let go of me," Luke whispered before he could think. Michael nodded "Never, I promise." he whispered back like the conversation was a secret. Luke didn't care about anything else, except for Michael's lips pressing back to his. Luke had never compared his lips to magnets, until now.


	6. Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Like wanting to suck on Michael's collarbones, or wanting to nibble on his ear every time he turned his head. Luke was constantly separating from the group to catch his breath. It was so hard to keep up this act after the night he had with Michael.

Luke wasn't very good at being deceitful. He was never a very good liar, that's why every time he was questioned Michael would swoop in and save him. Ashton and Calum were beginning to question how close Luke and Michael were getting.

Ashton just thought that it was about time they'd became 'friends', but Calum knew better.

At times it was hard to keep their relationship secret because they needed to be near each other, but the rest of the band was there.

Michael was good at hiding it, but Luke couldn't keep his eyes off of Michael so much as his hands. Luke was in love for the first time in his life and he didn't quite understand all of these new needs. Like wanting to suck on Michael's collarbones, or wanting to nibble on his ear every time he turned his head. Luke was constantly separating from the group to catch his breath. It was so hard to keep up this act after the night he had with Michael.

The only thing he could do to keep himself together was perform. Now that they were back on the road they had to sleep in separate bunks, and Luke hated that most. Michael promised that the next hotel they stayed in that he'd call bunking with him, but Luke was almost certain Calum would try and call Michael ahead of time. Luke was pissed off at Calum; how he kept trying to get close to Michael. Tried to cuddle with him when he was tired.

Calum even took pictures and posted them to rub them in Luke's face. Luke knew Calum was doing this on purpose and it was causing tension between the two of them.


	7. Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Baby," Michael almost whispers. Luke shakes his head "I'm sorry I-...I just can't handle seeing Calum all over you, and I just think...I want...I don't know maybe it's time we tell them, I can't take it any more. I want to touch you, and kiss you, and hold you and it be okay! I don't want to hide, I've been hiding my entire life, and I don't want to hide any more. Not in front of my best friends." Luke releases every single thing that's been bothering him in that second.

Luke took another sip of his water. They'd gone out for pizza, but Luke wasn't in any mood for eating. Calum had been flirting with Michael all night, all though he called it joking, Luke knew better.  
"Are you going to eat?" a smooth voice whispered into Luke's ear. Luke shivered, but shook his head not looking up from his glass. "Why so glum mate?" Ashton asked. Luke shrugged not saying anything for a long moment. "Guess I'm tired... Missing a real bed... haven't seen my family in a while..." Luke was facing these problems in reality, but the biggest problem he was holding back. 'My best friend is all over my boyfriend, yes I have a boyfriend, and he's also my band mate, and I just want to fucking cut my best friend, who is also Calum, who is all over Michael.'  
Luke sighs shaking the thought from his mind. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom," he mumbled pushing himself from the table. His mind was clouded with anger and frustration, and he might say something he's been trying not to. That or he'd explode on whoever got on his nerve at any given moment in time.  
Luke locked himself in a stall and sunk into the seat of the toilet. He couldn't help that he was so upset. Couldn't help the tears streaming down his face, or the soft whimpers escaping his lips every time he tried to breath and let it all go. The door to the bathroom opened and closed, and Luke knew it was Michael when he heard the door latch.  
So Luke pulled his legs up and hugged his knees burying his face in them willing himself not to sob in his boyfriends presence. He loved to say that, to think it. It was the only grasp he had on sanity at the moment.  
"Luke?" Michael's soft tone reached him from behind the stall door, "Open up babe...I want to talk with you." Luke sniffed "G-gimme a sec," he croaked. It was quiet for a moment before Luke heard a thump on the stall door. He looked up to see Michael's black boots through the opening under the door.  
"Luke, I'm sorry. Please, open the door?" Michael begs. Luke sniffs unlatching the stall door. Michael walks in as Luke wipes the tears staining his cheeks. Michael seems to break seeing Luke in such a position. "Baby," Michael almost whispers. Luke shakes his head "I'm sorry I-...I just can't handle seeing Calum all over you, and I just think...I want...I don't know maybe it's time we tell them, I can't take it any more. I want to touch you, and kiss you, and hold you and it be okay! I don't want to hide, I've been hiding my entire life, and I don't want to hide any more. Not in front of my best friends." Luke releases every single thing that's been bothering him in that second.  
Michael runs a hand through Luke's hair before gently caressing his cheek. Luke closes his eyes escaping reality for a moment in Michael's touch. This was what he needed. "I know," is all Michael whispers. Luke looks into his eyes. He'd never been more determined in his life. "We tell them tonight." he states. Michael nods in agreement.


	8. Band Mates - Soul Mates

They'd gone back to the table together, and Ashton and Calum had seen it on Luke's face that Luke had been crying. "What happened?" Calum asks worried. Luke was worried that this would happen. That they would ask questions, so Luke shakes his head "Nothing, everything's cool," he says with an assuring smile. He knows that no one is fooled though. And that's another thing he was afraid of.

Michael makes an effort to touch Luke, placing his hand on his back. His hands were warm and Luke just wanted to melt into him. Seeing Luke relax, Michael smiled lightly happy that he'd achieved at least a little bit of comfort for Luke.

After they take their seats Michael takes Luke's hand under the table discretely and Luke feels as if it's the saddest thing because, he knows why Michael is holding his hand. 

And he doesn't like the fact. Luke picks up his cold pizza and take a large bite as Michael's thumb strokes his skin lighting fires within Luke's insides. Ashton starts talking about the next show and how many people will be showing up so far, and Calum talks back excitedly about the new things he wants to try to make the fans go crazy.

But Luke feels as if he's behind a brick wall trying to listen in on a conversation he can't be a part of. Michael squeezed his hand and Luke looked over at him. Michael could read his expression like his favorite book. Wordless word for wordless word, and Luke was in pain.

Michael and Luke join in the conversation occasionally, and Luke even laughs when Ashton makes a joke about the stage manager. Inside Luke is at battle with himself and how they'll go about telling their band mates this secret that is having such an effect on the band.


	9. It'll Be Okay - Or Will It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael looks at Luke for permission to begin, and Luke nods. "I'm gay," Michael says deadpan.
> 
> Calum doesn't look too surprised, but Ashton's eyes are about as wide as the pizza pan Luke had recently seen. "Wha-"
> 
> "And I-...I am too," Luke says trying to get this out as quickly as possible so Michael can cuddle him and tell him everything's going to be okay.

After the quiet ride back to the lot in the van, Michael and Luke begin to share nervous but determined glances. Ashton's the first to notice, but he says nothing of it knowing he'll be finding out soon enough. And he'd right. One in the common room of the bus Luke and Michael take seats close together while Calum and Ashton sit across from them feeling the tension in the air like a thick fog cast between all of them.

"So..." Ashton begins, "something going on? You guys seem pretty...I don't know.." he trails off unable to find the right words to fit the situation. His band mates are acting like someone's dying, but their unsure if they want to tell _who_.

Michael looks at Luke for permission to begin, and Luke nods. "I'm gay," Michael says deadpan.

Calum doesn't look too surprised, but Ashton's eyes are about as wide as the pizza pan Luke had recently seen. "Wha-"

"And I-...I am too," Luke says trying to get this out as quickly as possible so Michael can cuddle him and tell him everything's going to be okay.

Michael takes his hand seeing how nervous he is, and Luke lets out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding in. Calum and Ashton stare at their two band mates hands in shock. "And you guys...?" Ashton inquires. They both nod knowing exactly what he was asking, knowing that this was answer enough. "Since when?" Calum asks still in shock but sounding as if he might protest.

"It's been two weeks...but we've liked each other longer than that," Michael says looking to Luke as if to test the waters, but Luke nods in agreement causing Michael to smile and relax a little. Luke gulps "You guys are the only one's who know... My family doesn't even know I'm gay and...I trust you guys a lot you're like my second family, and I know you won't tell anyone, I just thought you deserved to know."

Luke could hardly breath.

He'd explained the situation hoping it would make them feel less cornered, but Calum stood up and stormed out while Ashton sat there in shock probably still not fully understanding. Luke knew it just needed to sink in. Ashton gulped before nodding at them "I'm happy for you guys, really... I just need a few minutes...to you know..." he stammers.

Luke nods understanding before Ashton walks out. Michael squeezes lightly on Luke's hand to comfort him. Luke moves closer resting his head on Michael's shoulder, and Michael leans his head onto the other boy's. "It'll be okay," Michael whispers. Luke hoped that he was right.

 

~

 

It had been a week, and Ashton had come to accept Luke and Michael's relationship, but there was still tension between them, especially between them and Calum.

 

Calum was avoiding Michael and Luke all together other than stage performances. Luke felt pretty bad about it, and had to be comforted non-stop by Michael, and reassured that Calum would come along by Ashton.

 

Although, Luke was almost positive that Calum would not.


	10. Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calum glares at Luke "How long?" he asks angrily.
> 
> "Wha-" he cuts Luke off "You heard me. How. Long." he repeats. "We told you only two-" Calum shoves Luke "No! How long have you known!?"
> 
> "That I was...? I...I've known since I was old enough I think...after my first girlfriend I think I just realized it." I admit. Calum's eyes were burning red and welling with tears "And you never told me?" he asks weakly. Luke realized then why Calum was truly upset.
> 
> He was hurt.

"I've got two keys," says Ashton grinning at Luke, "I'm guessing you two want one, yeah?" Luke scoffs laughing at Ashton, but snatching up the key anyway.

"No," Calum says taking the key from Luke, "I'm bunking with Luke tonight." Luke's expression fell to confusion. Michael sighed "Come on room mate," he said nudging Ashton and taking his bag.

Luke looked at him and Michael pecked him on the cheek before he left with Ashton.

Luke huffed grabbing his own bag. Calum went for his, but Luke grabbed it. "I got it mate," he said solemnly. Calum nodded and led the way out of the bus and into the hotel

.

.

.

.

"I should have been first to know!" Calum shouted out in frustration.

Luke and Calum had gotten into after about only three minutes of being in the room together.

Ashton and Mike could probably hear them from across the hall. "I'm sorry, okay? But you have to understand how hard it was for me! For us, Calum! I haven't even told my mum I was gay, how do you think I feel?" Calum glares at Luke "How long?" he asks angrily.

"Wha-" he cuts Luke off "You heard me. How. Long." he repeats. "We told you only two-" Calum shoves Luke "No! How long have you known!?"

"That I was...? I...I've known since I was old enough I think...after my first girlfriend I think I just realized it." I admit. Calum's eyes were burning red and welling with tears "And you never told me?" he asks weakly. Luke realized then why Calum was truly upset.

He was hurt.

Luke hadn't told his best friend his sexuality before he told anyone else. "Cal, I-" Calum stopped him "No, don't you 'Cal' me. If you had told me a long time ago I would have- I... It doesn't matter. The point is you should have told me, and you didn't." "I'm sorry," Luke mumbles, "but how was I supposed to know how you'd act? I was scared Calum." Calum scoffs "That is so not the point Luke. I accept you, and love you like a brother no matter the fuck what." Luke nods "I know, I should have told you.

I am sorry though Cal... I can't deal with you hating me, please-" Calum's voice cracks "What? Hate you?" he asks holding his chest as if his heart is breaking. "Dude, I love you are you insane?" Then Calum comes at Luke hugging his chest "Stupid! You're a God damned idiot!" Luke hugs Calum back hesitant. "I'm sorry," Luke whispers.

A few moments later the door opens and Ashton walks in. "I'd ask how it was going...but you guys seem to be doing well." he says. Calum shoves me lightly "Get away from me I might catch your gay disease." Luke might have been hurt if it weren't Calum, and Calum hadn't have grinned at him the way he did. Luke smiled, finally he had his best friend back.


	11. Can't Wait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Fuck, Mikey.." Luke grunted feeling his bare ass hit the cold wall. Michael moaned softly "Say that again," he whispered into Luke's ears before dropping onto his knees.

The bathroom door burst open and Luke was pressed up against the wall from the force of Michael's kiss.

It was rushed and desperate, and Luke loved every moment of it.

"I can't wait any longer," Michael panted unbuckling Luke's pants.

Luke flushed thinking of what Michael could mean. Luke didn't want to lose what was left of his virginity in a backstage bathroom. But he didn't want Michael to stop touching him either, so he let Michael pull his pants down as he feverishly kissed his neck.

"Fuck, Mikey.." Luke grunted feeling his bare ass hit the cold wall. Michael moaned softly "Say that again," he whispered into Luke's ears before dropping onto his knees.

Michael loved the way Luke tasted, loved his breathing and the sounds he made when being pleased by Michael, the way he's scrunch up his face, and the way sweat coated his hairline. It was enough to make Michael weak. Michael was in such a rush, and he didn't have lube to insure he wouldn't hurt Luke with his dry hands. Luke was already waiting for Michael, aching for his touch.

Michael had no time, so he did the next best thing. Michael spit into his hand before taking Luke as well. Luke made a high pitched, strangled noise seeing Michael do something so dirty, and then act as if it were nothing. He was so desperate and Luke fucking loved it. Michael looked up at Luke mesmerized by the sounds he was making and just the look on his face.

His mouth fallen open, but not particularly wide, his messy hair, and flushed completion. "Mikey.." Luke moaned bringing Michael back to reality. Luke was desperate as much as Michael, so when he stopped moving Luke began to rock his hips into Michael's hand trying to please himself. Michael gave Luke a crazed look before taking Luke's head into his mouth and sucking ever so gently. Luke gasped bucking his hips begging for more. Michael allowed him and gagged on Luke's length.

Luke's eyes widened pulling out afraid he was choking Michael, but Michael surprised him by taking all of him in at once. Luke threw his head back moaning louder than intended and hoping, in the back of his mind, that no one had heard.

Michael bobbed his head slowly, and Luke couldn't take this much teasing in one day. Luke slipped his fingers between Michael's locks slowly earning a low moan from the red head. Luke rocked his hips to meet Michael's movements, and Michael tried not to gag on Luke's perfect cock.

Michael's eyes rolled back behind his lids as he marveled over Luke's bittersweet taste. Luke moaned between every breath, his stomach tightening with every thrust into Michael's mouth. Luke couldn't believe it, but he didn't know which fact he couldn't believe more; the fact that he was fucking Michael's mouth, or the fact that Michael was LETTING Luke fuck his mouth.

Luke's head rolled back on his shoulders as he reveled in the feeling of Michael's beautiful lips around him, taking all of him in without even the slightest complaint. In fact, Michael was moaning around Luke. Every time Luke felt Michael moan he became that much closer to orgasm. Luke tugged on Michael's hair roughly, earning a loud groan from Michael.

Luke groaned in turn coming undone in the other boys mouth. Luke held still for a minute panting in his ecstasy. Michael was breathing through his nose eyes closed, still slowly sucking on Luke to collect all of his juices.

When Luke finally came-to he looked down at his lover with care-filled eyes. Michael's eyes were still clouded with lust, but he looked up at Luke the same. Luke sunk down to the ground with Michael and kissed his mouth. Luke collected what was left of his cum surrounding Michael's lips. Michael moaned into Luke's mouth every so often and Luke whispered a promise to Michael through his ear. Michael shivered and nodded as Luke unbuttoned his pants.

When Luke took Michael into his mouth it was too much for Michael, he couldn't keep quiet. Michael through his head back against the cabinet and screamed out his lover's name. Luke sighed moaning against Michael softy. Michael whimpered his body shuttering as he easily came undone to Luke's touch. Michael couldn't help it.

He worshiped this man.


	12. Mommy Terror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke pales "In a week," he deadpans, "j-just a week? Why wouldn't she tell me?" Calum scoffed "Uh, 'cause you left your phone on the bus?" Calum replies sarcastically waving Luke's phone in his face. Luke takes the phone in frustration "Did she say the date? Time?" Calum shrugs in response.

"Finally!" Ashton groaned, "I have to piss like hell!"

 

Luke's eyes widened when he walked out of the bathroom "How long have to been standing there!?"

 

Michael clung to Luke's back not even caring, just wanting to cuddle after a good blowjob.

 

"Long enough to know you have the moan of a porn star, Lucas." Ashton winked.

 

"You're gross!" Luke claims shoving Ashton in disgust although Michael is whispering into Luke's ear agreeing with Ashton's claim.

 

Luke shivers, but doesn't say anything causing Michael to giggle.

 

"S'all yours Ashton." Michael says. Ashton nods grinning "Better not smell in there...Jesus, you guys couldn't wait could you?" Michael shakes his head as he begins to walk with Luke close as the t-shirt he's wearing.

 

"People will see," Luke warns as they walk behind the stage. Michael shrugs "They aren't paying any mind to us Luke, we're safe here." he assures Luke rubbing his back lovingly. Luke smiles at Michael taking his hand. Michael grins rubbing his face against Luke's shoulder.

 

"There you two are!" Calum exclaims running up suddenly. "Am I interrupting something?" Calum asks. Luke replies with a 'no', but Michael disagrees. Calum continues talking to Luke anyway "So I was talking to Liz this morning, don't ask why, I answered your phone for you."

 

Calum says answering his own question, "And she said she's coming to visit in about a week, so you better get your ass ready-my words not hers."

 

Luke pales "In a week," he deadpans, "j-just a week? Why wouldn't she tell me?" Calum scoffed "Uh, 'cause you left your phone on the bus?" Calum replies sarcastically waving Luke's phone in his face. Luke takes the phone in frustration "Did she say the date? Time?" Calum shrugs in response.

 

Michael runs his hand up and down Luke's back before slipping his hand below Luke's waistline, and around him to caress his hip bone. It helps Luke relax, but not by much.

.

.

.

.

Michael is still wanting to cuddle, but Luke is pacing the floor thinking about his mum.

 

Michael is trying to be patient and understanding with Luke, but it's wearing thin, and fast. "Luke, would you relax? She's coming in a week, it's not like she's here right now! Come over here, and let me hold you!" Michael whines.

 

Luke sighs "Fine, okay. You're right, I'm sorry... I'm just so worried about what could go wrong." Luke mumbles going to lay in bed with Michael. Michael snuggles into

Luke helping Luke relax. "What do you mean 'what could go wrong'? I mean, the way I see it you could go about acting as if nothing has changed and save yourself from your mum's reaction, or you could tell her, and get it over with." Michael explains.

 

Luke nods slowly "Yeah," he almost whispers, "but you know what happens when we try to pretend we're not together in front of anyone, and I would like to prevent myself from the awkward tension in the room when my mum's there." Michael shrugs "So, take her out. Some place nice. Maybe talk about what's going on in her life... You don't know Luke, maybe she already knows. I mean, my mum kinda/sorta knew. I guess mother's have this instinct or something...maybe they can already tell from when we're growing up."

 

'Or maybe she read your internet history,' Luke thinks, but keeps it to himself.

 

Luke nods though, understanding what Michael means, but his mum thinks he'll marry a woman. Always 'I wonder how many kids you'll have together', or 'I wonder what my daughter in law will look like'. Luke didn't want to disappoint his mum.


	13. Kiss My Ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh, yeah? And when did I give you permission to top? Hmm..?" Luke teases. Michael bites his lip "Oh, kiss my ass, Hemmings!" Luke quirked a questioning eyebrow.
> 
> Challenge accepted.

"Mmm...right there," Luke moaned. "Yeah? You like that?" Michael asks seductively. Luke laughs. "You guys are cute...it makes me wanna throw up," says Calum watching as Michael massages Luke's shoulders as Luke sits in front of him on the floor.

"I kinda like the view from back here," Michael starts, his tone taunting, "I'll have to top more often." Calum stands and stretched "Yup, time for bed!" he says before rushing out.

Michael is in a fit of giggles when Luke stands and pounces on his making Michael squeal like a three year old.

"Oh, yeah? And when did I give you permission to top? Hmm..?" Luke teases. Michael bites his lip "Oh, kiss my ass, Hemmings!" Luke quirked a questioning eyebrow.

Challenge accepted.

Luke flips Michael over hearing his gasp which only pushes him further. "Lu-" Michael is about to argue, but when Luke is yanking down his pants and toucan underwear he can't seem to do anything but arch his back and moan so quietly it hurt Luke's insides.

Luke, wanting to hear more, takes Michael's cheeks in both hands and spreads them. Michael groans sticking his bare ass up further.

Luke stared at the perfect pink ring of muscle that was his lovers. "What was it you wanted me to do babe?" Luke mocks. Michael whimpers "Kiss it, _kiss_ it."

Luke can't help but grin with how much Michael is begging to me touched. "What's the magic word?" Luke mumbles biting into the pale skin of Michael's ass cheek.

Michael squeals "Luke! Luke, _please_ , ohmygod."

Luke chuckles, but before Michael can get mad at him he dips down and licks, teasingly, over the ring of pink muscle. Michael flinched letting out a shuddered breath and a string of the word " _Please_ , _please_ , _please_ , _please_."

Luke uses is lips to kiss and suck, occasionally sticking his tongue in to fuck Michael's sensitive entrance. Michael was a writhing mess beneath his lips. " _More_ , _more_ , _more_.." Michael begged, his voice drown out and shaky, every word becoming lower in pitch.

Luke felt confined with his pants on, his dick hard against his jeans, the friction eating him alive, ironically enough, while he was eating Michael. Michael whimpered, and Luke knew he was far too hot and bothered for his own liking.

Luke brought up his finger sneakily and slipped the tip in. Michael gasped loudly letting out a guttural moan.

"Please! Please, Luke, _ohmygod_!" Now it was Luke's turn to whimper, not really meaning to. He pushed Michael's legs as far apart as they would go on the couch.

Michael was panting before Luke pushed his finger in to the second knuckle, but then he just stopped, his jaw fallen open before his torso shook and he face-planted into the couch fisting whatever fabric he could hold onto.

Luke waited a patient moment before pulling back and pushing forward again until he had a rhythm going and Michael was panting and moaning again. "More, more... _please_."

Luke loved hearing Michael beg for him, but the though of more made Luke's lids heavy and his mind fuzzy.

He pulled his finger out completely before sliding it into his mouth. When Michael looked back and saw he moaned particularly loud. "The way you _look_ , fuck."

"You like it, how I taste? Don't you?" Michael asked breathlessly. Luke nodded, his finger coming out of his mouth with a distinct ' _pop_ '. Michael moaned. "Ready?" Luke asked, tips of his fingers already lined up. "Fuck, yeah." Michael grunts.

And Luke slides his fingers in.


	14. Hi, Mum!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He's in here is he?"
> 
> Luke throws the lube, which hits the wall with a loud thud, and stuffs the condom in his pocket.

It took Luke a moment before he moved. He'd never want to hurt Michael, and by the way Michael squeaked, it had hurt. And even if it were only a little, Luke didn't want that. 

But Michael surprised him when he started grinding back on his fingers, rocking his hips and forcing Luke to move. "You're so good, so good for me, Lukey."

Luke blushed not expecting Michael's words to have such an effect on him. "Holy shi- Luke, please. I want more, I wanna feel all of you. You...your cock- Fuck I wanna feel you inside me, Luke. I wanna feel you deep inside my-"

Luke couldn't take it, he moved closer to press his lips to Michael's. Luke curled his fingers inside of him, and, not expecting it, Michael had groaned so loud that if Luke hadn't been kissing him the entire band would have heard it.

Luke felt something, and almost a second later Michael's entire body jolted as if he'd been shocked by electrical wire. "Yeah, yeah, _Luke_ , yes!" Michael shouted out.

Luke loved the sound, and he wanted to hear it again. He touched the same place, and Michael writhed beneath him. This must have been what they called a prostate in the smut Luke had read before.

From what information he'd gathered, it felt really good, and Luke was glad that he could give Michael that satisfaction.

When Luke pulled away from Michael's lips they were both breathing heavily, but Michael looked up at Luke, blinking.

"I-I mean...that is if _you're_ ready." he said cautiously. Luke looked at the view in front of him. His fingers buried deep inside Michael, and Michael a flushed, sweaty mess from it.

He was so ready. "Yeah, fuck yeah. Let's just. I need to get... _stuff_. I don't wanna hurt you, Mikey." They shared a care-filled look before things got more intense again.

Luke pulled away and smirked when Michael whimpered absentmindedly pushing back when all physical touch was lost.

"Don't go anywhere," Luke said winking.

Walking through the door and closing it behind him, Luke made sure he was quick to find the lube and condom in his carry-on.

Then when Luke thinks he's finally going to fuck his perfect boyfriend and quite possibly lose his god-damned virginity, the door to the bus comes open and he hears a voice he'd been dreading to hear for days.

"He's in here is he?"

Luke throws the lube, which hits the wall with a loud thud, and stuffs the condom in his pocket.

"MUM! You're finally here!" Luke shouts loud enough that hopefully, Michael can hear. "Luke, my boy! Come give your ol' mum a hug." she said coming in with her arms outstretched.

Luke grins wrapping his arms around his mum avoiding, at any cost, to touch her back with his sticky fingers. "Why are you all hot?" Luke shrugs "AC must've turned off."

Liz nodded looking around "Where's that friend of yours hm? Michael hiding from us?" Luke shook his head his eyes almost popping out of his head and head falling off all together. "No, he's in there, uh... MICHAEL!"

Liz flinched and Luke smiled nervously. Like he said before, he sucked at being deceitful.

A thud came from the common room and Michael came out, flushed and messy. His pants hung low on his hips, and Luke tried not to pounce on him with him mum standing two feet from him.

"Hi, Liz! How are you love?" Michael asks as Liz leans in to hug him, whilst staring at Luke with an expression that could only mean; ' _What_... _in_... _the_... _fuck_!?"


	15. Finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Something bothering you, Lucas?" Liz asked taking note of her youngest sons far-away look. Luke looked at his mother "I-I'm fine, how's the food?" he asks.
> 
> Liz gives him an off look "Luke, we haven't ordered yet." she says leaning forward in her seat slightly to get a better look at the young man across from her. Luke nods "Oh...right."

Luke felt as if he hadn't seen his mum in ages. He had so much on his mind that he wanted to tell her, but he was afraid he couldn't tell her any of it in fear of how she'd react.

Luke had gone his whole life without his mum knowing that he was gay. Surely she couldn't tell, not after he'd dated a female, and had promised to stay abstinent till the day he married. Luke wasn't wearing that promise ring now, not after the things he'd already shamelessly done with Michael. He didn't care to wait.

Sure, it was reckless, careless even, but Luke had promised Michael forever and a day, and Luke never broke his word.

Luke felt safe with Michael, and he knew how strong their relationship already was. To come out to the band wasn't easy, so how could Luke coming out to his own mother be simple either? It wasn't, honestly. And Luke would house the secret till the end of his days if he needed, if he felt like it, but no.

Luke could never lie, never deceive, or lead people on, and especially not in the case of his family.

"Something bothering you, Lucas?" Liz asked taking note of her youngest sons far-away look. Luke looked at his mother "I-I'm fine, how's the food?" he asks.

Liz gives him an off look "Luke, we haven't ordered yet." she says leaning forward in her seat slightly to get a better look at the young man across from her. Luke nods "Oh...right."

Liz takes a long look at her son before asking the million dollar question "What's on your mind, Luke?" Said 'young man' looks up at his mother. He doesn't know how to answer, how could he?

Break the only mother's heart that he'd ever had, or keep her in the dark about who he truly was? So, Luke decided on taking a completely different approach. He talked about ice cream.

"Do you remember," Luke started, "how hot summers would get back home...?" Liz nodded slowly uncertain of her sons sudden interest in seasons. "How we'd beg you for all of your spare change so we could wait on the end of our street, no matter the heat, all of us boys?" Liz smiled faintly, reminiscing.

Luke nods "We'd wait almost all day just for the truck to drive down our street, and every time he'd arrive we'd run all the way down the road to meet the driver where he stopped, and he'd greet us with this huge, jolly grin. I used to think of him as the 'Santa of Summer', you know?" Luke went on laughing half-heartedly. "Then one summer after school let out and all of the boys were off doing things...they were always older than me, and I couldn't change that." Liz nodded sadly, knowingly.

"They all had things they were doing...but I wasn't doing anything. I waited on the corner with my long board and I didn't even mind the heat. I just wanted to carry on tradition, and I wasn't alone, at least not mentally. I had the memory of all of us standing there and jumping all giddy, just aching for that truck to drive around the corner," Luke exaggerated. Liz laughed aloud thinking of all her boys waiting in excitement for an ice cream truck. Picturing it now seemed like a complete imagination, a joke even. Luke looks at his hands "Yeah..." he laughs, "I waited two whole hours for that truck, and it never came."

Liz frowned "I'm sorry sweetie," she says sadly, placing a comforting hand over Luke's. Luke shakes his head "No it's okay because, I met someone that day." he says.

Liz leans forward now interested in who Luke could be talking about. "Well...that was the first day I saw him, I don't think he knew much about it, or me, then. He was so different too, shaggy brown hair, but he was still pretty pale even in summer."

"I could tell he hadn't really wanted to be outside, and he didn't have anybody with him, so he must not of had very many friends." Liz's brows were now stitched together trying to piece the puzzle together. Luke continued, "It was the summer I had just gotten out of my first relationship... I'd never really understood the whole dating thing then, mum, you know I feel like I was pretty young, pubescent if you will," Luke laughs uncomfortably.

"I uh...I just looked at this person not even...what, ten feet from me? I looked at them like I've never looked at anyone before, and I swear to God, I just felt...I felt like my heart could burst from my chest at any moment. I thought 'Wow...who is that?' you know? I thought 'How come I've never seen them before? They're-'..."

Luke looked at his mother who seemed to have clouded eyes. She looked like she might cry. "Beautiful.." Luke finishes watching his mother who began to smile ever so slowly. "What a beautiful story, Lucas... Who is it? Who did you see?" she asked. Luke didn't know if he should say he didn't know.

Luke loved Michael...why not tell his mother 'who' was Michael? Luke smiles down at his hands, his own eyes welling with tears like his mum's. "Michael," Luke almost whispers. Liz's physic shakes as she stares at her son "Michael?" she repeats almost as a question. Luke nods. "And does Michael know...that you feel this way...about him?" she was trying hard not to cry and Luke was breaking at the sight.

Luke nods "He does, and...he was the very first to find out." Liz's thoughts were now fully confirmed, as she stared at her now crying son. Her son who was in love, in love with a man, in love with a band mate who she had known for so long and never had guessed...

Luke's shoulders lurched as he tried to hold back a sob. He leaned forward on his elbows, still holding his mothers hand. "I never meant to disappoint you, mum." Luke says snapping Liz out of her thoughts.

She looks at her son as the tears stream down his cheeks. "Luke, no honey, no I'm not disappointed in you. I love you no matter what, you know that!" she assures him squeezing his hand in between both of hers.

Luke responds by placing his other hand on top of the pile of hands. Liz smiles brightly although tears are apparent in her eyes. "Was it true? What you said about seeing Michael...?" Liz asks after a quiet moment. Luke nods "That's when I first had the feeling...I mean I always thought...but only recently had I been completely aware that it was just...inexplicable." he explains. Liz nods "I understand, honey." she whispers, "I understand."

The ride home is silent, but Luke is comforted by his mothers hand stroking his own in her possession. Luke had finally rid of the weight on his shoulders, and was able to smile at his mother who was now fully aware of who her son really was. Luke never thought it would be so easy, yet so hard. Liz had never thought her son would think she'd be anything but accepting, but here they were. Finally.


End file.
